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What Do You Think Their Chances Are?

a story of 3 siblings as they navigate through ACEs and try to overcome it

Their mother: At 33, she’d had enough of this world and twice wanted to finish it.

Their father was a narcissist who served 2 tours of duty in the service. Needless to say, he was away for long stints at a time.

A true story of 3 siblings under the age of 11 living in Australia.

They grew up living with parents who regularly drank and argued, verbally and physically. To the point where their mother wore physical scars, which were stark reminders of the altercation.

Growing up in turmoil

What do you think the outcome was for these three children as middle-aged adults?

Are their lives balanced, or would there be issues, and if so, how and for whom?

Some could think that all three children would have the same character traits because they grew up in the same environment.

Also, there is more to consider. The separation of their parents was inevitable and simply a matter of time. So with this common scenario of not having the support of both parents 24/7, it created another concern.

That’s a lot to deal with for these children (all under teen age), who regularly wandered the streets.

sad girl in wilderness

Of the above issues these siblings went through, all are listed as ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences).

On the bright side, there are ways to overcome ACEs. Whatever trauma they experienced doesn’t mean living with ACEs is permanent. It is NOT a life sentence!

There are simple and easy techniques that can change the trajectory of their lives and help prevent a life of destruction.

ACEs are common

The commonality of ACEs is based on when a young life grows up having to cope with ‘not normal’ situations. The effects of this adversity is often suppressed and isn’t revealed for decades. Tell tale signs are unpleasant character traits and/or addictions, which often include obesity.

Research (20 odd years) has shown that ACEs children can struggle in society as adults, often being shunned by others. Ten ACEs categories have been identified, with approximately 70% of children will experience 3 or more. And as the children grew, there was no awareness so they were unable to overcome ACEs: Until now.

In regard to the 3 siblings, due to different life circumstances as teens, each experienced 8 or 9 ACEs.

Coping mechanism of ACEs victims

depressed girl sitting on grass injecting

Unlike ACEs categories, a child’s then adult’s personality will react differently so cannot be pigeonholed purely from experiences alone. Often, their suppressed emotions are connected to a painful memory, which can result in an underlying lack of self-worth. The subconscious self belief is that those circumstances were presented to them for this reason. And for those adults, the idea of consciously facing the reality of a particular past moment is terrifying.

Of the other 30% of children, chances are they will eventually be involved with an ACEs sufferer. Either through a vocation or their personal life.

As there is no set facade for ACEs sufferers, it’s difficult to know who has experienced trauma. It’s important to consider reactions when meeting new people or if noticing someone has changed. Also, while one person may appear angry, another who has had similar experiences could be subdued yet society is more tolerant and forgiving of the quiet person. This doesn’t mean that the latter is okay and the other is not. 

It depends on the trauma, the individual experiences, resilience and personality of the child/adult as to the tolerance levels. This is also the case as to how that person can overcome ACEs.

Everyone copes differently

everyone cope differently from aces trauma

Remember: EVERYBODY COPES DIFFERENTLY. A classic error of judgement is with siblings. Two children can grow up with alcoholism present but as adults, they’re NOT going to react the same.

Consider as OPRAH SUGGESTED. Instead of saying to someone, ‘What’s wrong with you? ’ ‘You’re crazy.’

Re-word the question to, ‘What happened to you?’

On a brighter note, as mentioned earlier, this situation is NOT necessarily permanent!

Things can change with simple and easy techniques that are completely harmless and can be implemented to tweens. Depending on the individual, all will compliment professional help.

Creating awareness of ACEs and community support is vital if our family and friends are to live happy and healthy lives, as too many families are being TORN APART because of subconscious, past-traumatic fears.

Benefits of simple and easy techniques to overcome Aces

what happent to the children

As for the three siblings who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, what was their outcome?

Due to a lack of understanding and knowledge of ACEs, one sibling became schizophrenic, induced by alcohol and sniffing toxic substances. The next suffered with alcoholism. The third sibling did not succumb to drugs, alcohol, or prostitution. However she subconsciously suppressed the hurt and anger that had been carried for 45 years. It was reflected through PTSD & depression.

But after being introduced to simple and easy techniques, the painful emotions were disconnected from the memories of the past. So she is now living happier than ever before and is enjoying life.

Chances are you will know of someone who could benefit from these simple and easy techniques that can change the trajectory of their lives and relationships!

If this story resonated with you, you may send me an email at donna@mydreambox.me or send your enquiry to our contact page.

Here’s another interesting story, click here.

Copyright © 2024 Donna Arnold. All rights reserved.

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